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Well I have been cut off from alcohol by my roomate who says if i continue to drink as I have, that I will be kicked out, my husband will be allowed to stay but I will have to go. I guess I will have to stop for now. Its not that im a bad drunk, its just that i drink so excessively that I give my self alcohol poisoning and end up sleeping in the shower which apparently scares everyone. This I think is a bit stupid but oh well. I understand not wanting me to get alcohol poisoning but who cares if i wanna sleep it off in the shower.
I am 29 and can always buy my own alcohol however if i am caught drinking excessively or if i miss work because of drinking i will be out on my ass. Its not really worth it.
Well if that happened at least it would be easier to let go of everything and finally commit to my self destruction.
I will just do the right thing and stop drinking but my anxiety and depression is so out of control i dont know how to handle anything sober right now. I just hate the way I feel so much I cant stand it. Ive never hurt so much in my life.
I am 29 and can always buy my own alcohol however if i am caught drinking excessively or if i miss work because of drinking i will be out on my ass. Its not really worth it.
Well if that happened at least it would be easier to let go of everything and finally commit to my self destruction.
I will just do the right thing and stop drinking but my anxiety and depression is so out of control i dont know how to handle anything sober right now. I just hate the way I feel so much I cant stand it. Ive never hurt so much in my life.
I go to AA. So although this IS trite and you will probably hate it, I would love to recommend you try it. It IS FREE therapy. It is wonderful, changed my life (for the better). I too suffered from paralyzing panic and anxiety. I lost too many jobs to count and I too self medicated with alcohol. I KNEW for sure that the anxiety was a physical thing and I could never just get over it. When I HAD to quit drinking, I just resolved that my life would be a torture of anxiety and it wouldn't kill me and I would just be miserable. But it got better and better. When I do get anxious, I have new coping skills I've learned. Usually the anxiety is directly related to something I can control. Like, situations I put myself in. Or, it's like, I get a scare, suffer the anxiety, and then it fades. Like NORMAL.
ReplyDeleteanyway, that's my experience. If you have any questions let me know. I'm here for ya.
xo
I think what Jenn suggested is a really good idea, especially since it's free. I am lucky that I haven't ever had a problem with alcohol but I can imagine it would be awful anxiety provoking when you wake up sober. I can't honestly imagine it myself but maybe AA is something you should consider. Be kind to yourself.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah